WELCOME
Welcome to my journal, and thanks for coming. This journal is not friends-only; I lock and filter only occasional entries. The content I post about varies between my personal life (school, work, friends, more school), memes, music, civil rights issues, and intense geekery that remains under a geek-only filter because I am full of nerd shame. If I already have you friended and you would like to be added to my geek filter, just comment here. Warning: you may already be on the filter. If you see posts about animu and shit, I have you added.

ABOUT MEI
If you check out my meme tag, you can find out some stuff about me, but I'll lay out some basics for you here as well. I'm a 21 year old gal from southern Ohio, USA who is a secular humanist Jewish lesbian feminist. I have a fiery passion for music (listening and performing), stories (reading/watching and writing), and art (enjoying and creating). My tits are huge and my hair is long. My favorite foods are matzot balls and latkes. I speak a good amount of Spanish and a passable amount of Japanese. I'm really good at sleeping a lot, getting distracted, and being judgmental. I've gotten more laid-back in recent years but I can still crank my bitch dial up to 10.5 if it's necessary. I'm sort of lewd and I cuss a lot. I'm secretly quite paranoid. I love making people laugh.



( listings, recommendations, and links )

EMLAN, WHY DO YOU WATCH THIS PLACE??? DON'T LIE, I SAW IT IN YOUR USERINFO!

Moved out of Peabody for the last time on Sunday. It was really sad. Susan actually cried (AND SHE DOESN'T CRY!!). I'm really going to miss living with everyone. I almost can't believe I really did it, really decided not to go back, just because I'm going to miss Will and Susan so much. Stephanie I would have missed anyway, because she's graduated, and Chels is living almost on the other side of campus next year.

I guess I better make it worth it, dammit!

Been writing with unopened for the past few days. Good times! She's a really great writer, I hope I'm keeping up. She says I am, but I don't know if I can trust her... ;) I also finally posted at blessingoflove again, man that felt good!

BY THE WAY, F-LIST. Are you into Asian music? Would you like to be? Are you interested in jumping on board with a brand new forum and helping it get started? Check out FIERCE MUSIC FORUMS, a forum open for discussion and downloads revolving around all Asian music AND Western music, as well as world music in general, world news, television and movies, and more. Be a badass founding member! Help us start some threads over here! The admin is a super cool gal, I promise.

Very glad the summer is here. I'm not even going to look at my grades from this semester. That is how little I care. FUCK YOU, MIAMI! It's time for something new.

Last night I finished watching Mushi-Shi. This is yet another series that was so good I rocketed through it in no time at all, but with this one I almost wish I hadn't. I really wish it could have lasted forever, that's how beautiful and enchanting it is. I've begun reading the manga but it's just not the same without the vibrant colors, the music, Ginko's calming voice and his laid back movements. He's definitely on my Favorite Characters of All Time list.

I'm not putting this review under my Anime/Manga filter because I think this is a series that anyone can appreciate the beauty of. Mushi-Shi is a lot like Princess Mononoke in both concept and feel; it's a historical fantasy series with an aftertaste of horror and a pinch of slice-of-life. It's episodic in nature, meaning every episode is a self-contained story, and there is very little continuous plot, although there is some. It does benefit to watch all the episodes and watch them in order, since pieces of information from other episodes pop up in later ones. The main character, Ginko, is the only character that appears in every episode, and there is only one other character who appears multiple times (Adashino-sensei). In this way, it's also highly similar to the series Mononoke (not to be confused with the movie Princess Mononoke). For more basic information, you can check out the Mushi-Shi wiki page.

Honestly, f-list, if you are looking for a good watch, and/or have been searching for some quality Anime for the Grown and Mature Individual, this series is for you. Its breathtaking images of nature, painfully human stories, and eternally wandering (as well as eternally endearing) hero earn it a solid 5 stars from me. Do you guys really need to be persuaded some more?


Did I mention Ginko is adorable?

[Mushi-Shi] @ YouTube
[The Sore Feet Song] by Ally Kerr

1. Pick a fictional character that you like
2. Draw him/her in what you wore today.



Yeeah... he doesn't really have the figure to fill out my clothes, but that's fine... You can see the version without the glasses and ridiculous girlified face on my Tegaki. I just did this one for the lolz.

Feminist Theory final is postponed until the weekend! Fuck yeah seaking!

HAH. Never mind, I don't suck at Tegaki quite as bad as I thought I did. So everyone come check out my Tegaki [here] (slight nipple warning). If you have one (and you're not emlan, kotszok, or kyrakitty, let me know so I can mark you on there.

THIS JUST IN (and quoted from a couple ims): My brother just came into the computer lab, did a high kick in the air, and then tripped and fell flat on his face. Seriously, like a classic facevault. I wish... I could have had this on video...

I had a great weekend with jankit btw; we had dinner a couple times (omg sushi is so good in the spring!), drew porn on the sidewalk, watched Princess Tutu after my computer stopped being a dick, hung out uptown, drank awesome wine, etc. Good times! yeah_itsme hung out with us some too, got dinner with us at Sushi Café and stuff.

Which reminds me, I can't believe next week is finals week! What the fuck! This was a horrible semester so I'm glad it's going to be over soon, but I will miss everyone. I hope we all get to do all the fun things we've been promising to do before we all have to leave. In all honesty I don't have a whole lot to do for finals this time around (which is pretty much my fault) so we'll see how it goes. I'm just trying to get through everything right now, and get it over with, and I'm glad my parents are okay with that too. And once again, thanks for everyone's continual support, it's really making me wish I could do a total 360 RIGHT NOW and somehow pay you all back for believing in me. I'll do my best to show you all how much ass I can kick in this coming year. Sorry I keep talking about this but... yeah. That's just how much it means to me.

but... uh. YEAH. DRAWINGS. LOL.

Passover was amazing. It was really wonderful to be with everyone and have such a fun time. Really inspirational. Thanks to everyone who came, I love all of you and it wouldn't have been the same without even one of you. I hope I get to see more photos soon! The few that exchangediary put up on Facebook already are really hilarious.

I didn't win anything at the scholarship competition for saa, but that's fine. They had a presentation from the Mac Store during the day there and Mom and I were drooling over the new machines. I can't wait to get one at the end of the summer. Working in PS on one of those is going to be fucking sweet. I do feel bad, though, because it's going to be so expensive, and I could have gotten more use out of this computer, even though it's getting slow. But for graphic design this just isn't going to cut it, and they want everyone on the same model of laptop. Can't say I'm not looking forward to it though, honestly.

I applied for a job in Middletown that babysits animals and then uses the animals for therapy for disabled people. I need to call them soon, they said to call them every week and see what's up. Apparently they're pretty interested in me though since I was in 4-H. I hope I get the job, I think it would be a lot better than Kroger, ugh.

I haven't been on instant messenger for a few days now, for a couple reasons. One is that I've had Photoshop running and I don't like having too many apps running at the same time on this comp anymore, it makes it go crazy. Another is that I've just been in the mood to not have to dodge people I'm not interested in talking to or be put off that people I DO want to talk to aren't around or aren't talking to me or whatever. I'm just sort of chilling out and surfing around on the net. I've started rereading Bleach from the beginning and browsing through fanart sites for inspiration, since I want to pick up art again. I did a few sketches and they weren't too bad. I found some really amazing art sites and will probably do a linkpimp soon.

Oh yeah, and I was busy this weekend... haha.

sophiap, I do still want to write with you, and to everyone I owe MS tags to, I swear I will get on that soon! I apologize for being slow and not being very available to talk to.

The end of this school year feels really awkward. I wish I had more motivation, but all I can think about is saa. I don't want to be down on myself anymore, and generally I've been in a good mood thanks to having something to look forward to, but sometimes it still hits me how much of a failure I've been and am continuing to be at the moment. My parents are telling me to just go forward and get through the end of the year. I wish I could say I'm doing everything I can.

Finally:

Thanks SO MUCH to everyone who offered up their support on my "serious" post. I can't tell you all how much I appreciate it. Having so much of my f-list come out like that and comment was really heart-warming. Like I said before, I know I've made a lot of mistakes, and it's been a long time since I've truly felt good about myself the way I used to, but your encouragement and belief in me really gives me strength and heightens my resolve to improve myself in the coming school year at saa. I want to be the smart, talented woman you all say I am. I don't want to prove you wrong, so thank you for giving me that motivation. I'm very lucky to have friends like all of you.

I know that was sappy and dumb, but honestly, you should know I'm grateful.

Also: I need to be done making excuses and being sorry all the time. I promised myself a long time ago I wasn't going to mess around with that business. So that's that.

My Personality

Neuroticism	47
Extraversion	27
Openness to Experience	61
Agreeableness	9
Conscientiousness	1

You are a calm person who is considered almost fearless by some, however you feel enraged when things do not go your way. You are sensitive about being treated fairly and feel resentful and bitter if you think you are being cheated. You lead a leisurely and relaxed life. You would prefer to sit back and smell the roses than indulge in high energy activities. You prefer familiar routines and for things to stay the same. You can tend to feel uncomfortable with change. You are tenderhearted and compassionate, feeling the pain of others vicariously and are easily moved to pity, however you believe that a certain amount of deception in social relationships is necessary. You are guarded in new relationships and less willing to openly reveal the whole truth about yourself. You take your time when making decisions and will deliberate on all the possible consequences and alternatives.

Take a Personality Test now or view the full Personality Report. The best Buying Pet Gifts.

It pinned me down quite well.

So I've really been trying not to post about school in here since for a while it just got ridiculous. Things lately have been pretty bad on the school front, though, and it's really all my fault. I got some bad news just a few minutes ago from one of my professors, and I'm just sort of lying here not reacting to it, because I'm not sure how to react. I can't say I'm surprised or anything, and I'm not mad. I guess at this point it's mostly a combination of apathy and depression. One of the biggest things that is keeping me positive right now is knowing that I'm going to be trying something different next year, something that I honestly do believe will be a lot better for me. It was a hard decision to make, but the more time goes by, the more confident I am in that decision. This shit is broke and I need to fix it.

I've applied and been accepted to a graphic design college in Kettering called the School of Advertising Art, or saa. It looks absolutely amazing. I first went there to have them look at my portfolio in order to be accepted, and they seemed very impressed, practically begging me to go there. I told the professor who interviewed me that his compliments about my art were the kindest things I'd heard about myself from a school in three years. The president of the school also looked at my work and had lots of great things to say, she was really cool in general. This Sunday I'm heading over there again and competing for a $5,000 scholarship with a smaller, more refined version of my portfolio that is only ten pieces. I went home on Monday and Mom and I printed out all the graphic work on nice paper and matted everything. It looks great, and I actually have my hopes up for once, like I used to in high school. It's sort of amazing.

The school has a 9-5 schedule 5 days a week for the students who are doing the Associate's degree (instead of just getting a certificate, meaning you don't have to take academic courses). It's a two year degree, meaning I'll graduate at the same time as my brother. This school seems to get nothing but rave reviews from its students and alumni, and last year they employed 100% of their graduates.

Please support me in this decision. The support of my friends really means a lot to me. While I know I have done poorly at Miami and that the fault is mostly mine, and while I know I would only have one more year here versus two at saa, I really believe that those two years at saa would be endlessly more enjoyable and productive than the final year at Miami could ever be. I've thought about this long and hard, and it feels right to me.


EDIT: Here are some of the pieces in my ten-piece portfolio, in case anyone was curious. They wanted a combination of traditional art and graphic art if possible, and mine is half and half.

bold / god / aiyo / usopp / femininity / drag show ad


In other news, this Saturday is PASSOVER! I'm SO EXCITED. Will and I went home over the weekend to help clean the house. Lots of awesome people are coming. There will be so much food and fun. I think it will help cheer everyone up and remind us of what's really important in life. This weekend in general is going to be awesome; Stephanie might come to saa with me for the scholarship competition. I'm getting impatient already! There is NOTHING I love more than good times with friends. Nothing.

Meme from sophiap. I'll do an entry with more substance soon, I promise.

01. Where is your mobile phone? the chair next to me
02. Your significant other? my iPod
03. Your hair? dirty
04. Your mother? frazzled
05. Your father? in perpetual slow-motion
06. Your favorite thing? being alone in my room
07. Your dream last night? none
08. Your favorite drink? almond Italian soda
09. Your dream/goal? to do something I love
10. The room you're in? dorm room
11. Your ex? will read this
12. Your fear? the ends of things
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? a big city
14. Where were you last night? home
15. What you're not? responsible
16. Muffins? cream cheese
17. One of your wish list items? new computer
18. Where you grew up? here
19. The last thing you did? slept
20. What are you wearing? pajamas
21. Your TV? nonexistant
22. Your pets? at home
23. Your computer? slow
24. Your life? changing
25. Your mood? hungry
26. Missing someone? always wanting my friends
27. Your car? nonexistant
28. Something you're not wearing? panties
29. Favorite store? second-hand shops
30. Your summer? working hard
31. Like someone? not really
32. Your favorite color? orange
33. When is the last time you laughed? yesterday
34. Last time you cried? not too long ago


oh shi-- and BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY to dustyjack WHO IS A DYKE OF EPIC PROPORTIONS

COLLOQUIALISMS MEME

Age: 21
Where did you grow up: Ohio, USA

WHAT DO YOU CALL:
01. A body of water, smaller than a river, contained within relatively narrow banks?
stream or creek, depends on the size
02. What the thing you push around the grocery store is called?
(shopping) cart
03. A metal container to carry a meal in?
lunchbox
04. The thing that you cook bacon and eggs in?
frying pan
05. The piece of furniture that seats three people?
couch
06. The device on the outside of the house that carries rain off the roof?
gutter
07. The covered area outside a house where people sit in the evening?
front of house: porch, back of house: deck
08. Carbonated, sweetened, non-alcoholic beverages?
pop
09. A flat, round breakfast food served with syrup?
pancake
10. A long sandwich designed to be a whole meal in itself?
sub
11. The piece of clothing worn by men at the beach?
swim trunks/shorts; swimsuit can be used for guys or girls
12. Shoes worn for sports?
sneakers or tennis shoes
13. Putting a room in order?
cleaning up
14. A flying insect that glows in the dark?
firefly
15. The little insect that curls up into a ball?
roley poley
16. The children's playground equipment where one kid sits on one side and goes up while the other sits on the other side and goes down?
teeter-totter/see-saw
17. How do you eat your pizza?
from the tip to the crust, unfolded.
18. What's it called when private citizens put up signs and sell their used stuff?
garage sales/yard sales
19. What's the evening meal?
dinner/supper
20. The thing under a house where the furnace and perhaps a rec room are?
basement
21. What do you call the thing that you can get water out of to drink in public places?
water fountain/drinking fountain

Everyone should do this, it's awesome! Got it from merboo and bellumina.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, caerfree!

You're one of the longest-standing citizens on my f-list, it's kind of crazy how long you've been on there. Thanks for sticking around and I hope you had a good one!

Thanks to ainbthen for the graphic. If you don't know what it's referring to, don't bother yourself about it. Also you should check out my review of the new Utada Hikaru album over at pink_wota. Hopefully I'll be posting there more often, especially once school is out.

Spring break has gone by so fast. Way too fast. I have so much makeup work to do. Oh my god.

I'll do a better update later. I suck at updating lately. D8

EDIT: Auuugh I was gonna try to take a nap and now dad or someone is downstairs playing with drums. AUUUUGGH.